The Best We Never Hear About

I wish I were paid a pension supplement
for every time I had to listen through anyone
on my radio who says that of some aspect
of their country, 'We are the best in the world
at [insert subject from food to bureaucracy here]',
where no other country is presented for comparison.

This repeated linguistic twitch is just that,
the narcissism of minor difference on a national scale
or chauvinism that goes beyond the pale of reason.

I would be happy for being poorer
for hearing far fewer public speakers
verbally inflating the value of their country
with superlatives any listener knows were wrong
where only the radio off switch could end them,