With sex, and 'coming out' to myself,
as with so many other subjects in life,
by the time I coined the questions
that might, if answered them right,
get me slightly ahead in the race
that was going on around me,
I was too old to have anyone teach me
what I hadn't been taught much earlier.
It took having a life-partner to teach me
who I was and then only in skeletal form
of notes I wrote each in the diary I kept.
And then it was only with reading the diary
a long time after, when the partnership ended,
that I came to see in the shadows of the words
I once wrote in the moment who I actually was.
Now I live alone and see very few people,
I encounter more human life via the media,
and seeing few people comes more naturally
than I wish it did. I can repent of the errors
of my past, that I remember, at my leisure.
Is that what 'retirement' is for ?
No comments:
Post a Comment