My List Of Unread Books

includes......

'Deuteronomy for Dummies' - the easy guide to most convoluted and hard-to-understand book in The Old Testament. Only 'The Book of Numbers' comes close to any similar level complexity, and the numbers in it are notably benign compared with the destruction they bear witness to.

'The Art of the Graceful Refusal'  - where a kind word of refusal does not stop somebody asking again. What it does achieve is putting a longer time between requests, and a calmness into both the request and the refusal.

The follow up was called 'The Old Declension' which is a more detailed delineation of how older refusals have maintained their charm right into the present day.

'Great Dogs I have Met' - Not quite like this, which I liked a lot, but close.

'Logorrhea and Misanthropy'  - Where the celebrated author Will Self writes at great length with as many long words as humanly possible about never wanting to write for the public again.

'Bathing in Bathos' -  Such an anti-climax of a book that I can hardly begin to describe even the introduction of it to readers other than myself, for fear of narcolepsy.

These titles will be hard to find. The following are more accessible, but equally hard to read....

'The Collected Works of Kierkegaard', - Soren Kierkegaard has been one of my heroes since I read his diaries in full - once, half a lifetime ago. But I fell at the first hurdle with many of his other voluminous writings which were written after he fueled himself with very strong coffee in the mornings.

'In Search of Lost Time' - Marcel Proust. Sometimes the time we lose we never get back. Reading this would take all too much time away from me given the list of other unread books on this list and I want a room like the one he wrote them in, in which to read them.

'Darkness at Noon' by Arthur Koestler, which I am given to believe is a cold war thriller about shady governments manipulating the daytime weather.

Last but far from least on this book list is 'Suicide for Non-Beginners' by that famously advanced author Anthony Weir.....

Great Turn-Offs Of Our Time (2)

When a politician says 'We agree and I have made it absolutely clear'
in one of the many panel programmes that they are apt to appear on
you can be sure that the 'we' is some small cabal and not even half their party.
And everything, particularly around the point that is being ground to a cliche,
is actually somewhat opaque. And often the speaker of these blunt words
is not in government and cannot alter what is being talked into extinction.  

Putting Off Being Put Off From Doing Jobs That Need To Be Done

Human nature dislikes being observed.

One of the signs of boredom that we avoid
is making lists of the things we have to do,
and we desist from the list because we know
that the contents will be too long for our comfort.

And we would not want to do the jobs on it.

But when we get past the fear of boredom
then we can make the list, and on seeing it
we will want to start on a task not on that list,
because that seems so much more engaging.

Im/Maturity

I have sometimes been praised
for my 'emotional maturity',
whatever that is. In all honesty
I have doubted what such praise was for.

I have learned to accept the comments
on the basis that such maturity
is about being mercilessly honest
about how immature I need to be
when those immature needs arise.

And I am not that mature,
but somehow I have the confidence
to share what I am with the people
who I hope will understand.  

Unheroically Yours

The stories of family that I like
are the ones that I rarely hear
-stories where the family black sheep
get to speak for themselves,
rather than be spoken over.

There they explain
how they survived their accusers,
after being forced to playing out being losers,
'Because somebody had to do it, and it proved to be me....  '

Attractiveness vs Character

I have no objections to handsome people
being alike in how attractive they seem to be,
or to them often being both happy and wealthy.

My difficulties arise from seeing them gathered
in great numbers in any one place in public.
Such a display of collective perfection,
perfect teeth, dress sense, every hair in place,
en mass, is something I find hard to take in.

Give me human flaws
and the stories of those
who outlive their mistakes
over being dazzled, anyday.

Am I Receiving Me?

I like to talk, I also like quiet. On my own
I talk to myself because thinking aloud is easy.

I will speak as I breathe, particularly after
I have had the open conversations with others
where I did not say what I thought at the time;
it was not apt, or a could not get the idea in edgeways.
.
I try to listen in conversation,
and imagine I am being listened to.
But how my hearing tires when I try to listen
and I know the person I am listening  to
is simply not listening to themselves.

They are not weighing their words
or putting forward ideas, just downloading.

My heart picks up
when I feel the empathy from the other side
-whether it resides in speech or music.
Or best of all in a mutual and deep silence.