The Best Medicine?

I always learned best where what I was was taught
was shown to me with an affirmative sense of humour, 
I could connect through the humour and the calm
much more than I did through the contained anger
that tainted most of the communications with me.

Alas, most of the humour I grew up with
disguised varying degrees of anger,
and the humour got darker the older I got.

Whilst I was relieved at the time
with how the anger was contained 
I later felt trapped by what was not said,
and found releasing myself difficult.

In the model of masculinity I grew up with
alcohol was always the best medicine; 
it was never rationed or put on prescription,
it was like freedom; enough is never enough.
Their wives would say 'it got men out of the house'.

I thought that inclusive humour was better,
for it being uplifting wherever it was shared, 
but it is taking me a long time for me to prove this.