All That Jazz

When I was first 'coming out',
in the early1990's, what helped me a lot
was an interest in mental health matters,
which was further buttressed by my interest
in the more thoughtful films and entertainments.

Never was information about mental health
and entertainment more effectively combined
than with the performance of Roy Scheider
as Bob Fosse in the1979 confessional 'All That Jazz',
which for me was truly 'a coming out film',
all the more so for it not being called so. 

It's comparison of the glitz of the showbiz life
with the inconsistent and tawdry reality
going on behind the curtain was telling. 

Life in the closet was consistently tawdry,
where a lot of behaviour was deliberately mis-accounted for
to keep people unaware of the names and consequences of their actions.

Straight society preferred it that way.
It helped married and outwardly 'heterosexual' men
hide their opportunistic homosexual adventures,
and even more hide the role that alcohol played,
with such playtimes, whilst keeping at bay
all talk of anyone 'being gay' as taboo
as all mention of the abuse of alcohol.

I don't know what watching 'All That Jazz'
nearly fifty years on from when it was made 
would be like, but I thank all those who made the film
for breaking so many of the taboos and codes which bound me
to silence. The breaking of the old secrecy made my life better.