The Nearly Man

One of the scripts that I am glad
has passed now passed out of my life
is that of being told how near I was
to so many chances that fizzled out
where my nearness to what I wanted
was what led to so many substitutions
where with hindsight the substitutes
were what I was meant to want all along.

This or that chance would be
waved in front of me only to disappear,
after which an excuse would be made
about where the idea had gone to hide
and how there was new hope
as long I accepted it had shrunk 
and was now in the hands of someone
I was forced to trust, in order
to be able to trust somebody.

I'd be told 'You nearly got (add item here)'
when the item was something I wanted
and I was deceived about the difference
between being teased and a genuine offer.

There is no teasing now, and less to want,
but the less I want the more I can have it.