Beyond The Binaries

that inform sexual behavior - jealousy,
possessiveness and other irrationalities -
lives asexuality, a foreign land to most males.

It is a place of being
where touch is natural,
cool, and yet still sensual.
There arousal confines itself
to the mind, and the body
knows the folly of it's actions.

It is oasis I wish I stay in
-and have a fuller life.

But alas.... ....at age 13
I was serially sexually assaulted.
The matter was efficiently buried,
particularly by me. Incoherence,
was a given, given what happened.
How I misunderstood life at the time
was used against me for decades,
in ways I could not understand.

Ten years ago the memory/event resurfaced,
clean and raw. If my life were a desert
then that event was like Cain seeking rest
he could not find. And I was divided
from who I could be when being myself 
was meant most to be a repeatable epiphany.

What price/value finding that wholesome
and sensual place? Discovering acceptance?