When I was old enough to accept
being shut up and made to listen
I was frequently told how much
my good manners were required
to support the local social order.
Whatever others said and did against it.
When I was older and I could answer back
I found that the cards were stacked,
against me. A gentleman was a male
who was readily deferred to. Undeclared
I had become a pansy, a homosexual,
because everyone refused to defer to me.
But a gentleman is not just someone
who is deferred to, but also a person
who takes their complaint to its source
and to become a proper gentlemanly pansy
I 'came out' to myself, and to all around me.
Particularly my family who were the last people
on earth who wanted me to know I was gay.
They already knew it and didn't support me.
I became much younger for no longer hiding,
and I have stopped myself being pushed around
In the same way I now resist giving other people
cause for gossip, after the years of self doubt.
I am visible, and don't let people blank me out.
They became the shrinking violets, not me.
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