How close must I be to other folk
for me to know who my friends are
and give them the space for us to be themselves?
And how close must I keep my enemies,
both to disguise our mutual enmity
and let me know their plans for me
before they can carry them out?
Whatever the distances I keep
from different people, including family,
I have to think clearly about the difference
between being cursed and being a scapegoat.
In the former I live out other people's will
-seeing it as 'good for me to do what I am told',
as if passivity was good for the soul,
when what I am passive to may be poison.
In the latter I carry it knowing it is poison,
and without the choice of not carrying it.
But I carry it whilst protecting myself
from it, in so far as that is possible.
