Towards A More Self Aware Long Term Unemployment

From my twenties onwards
I had a beard, and I liked hats
for the change in my appearance
that they gave me. Without knowing
what one was I wanted to be a dandy.

My family always asked me
what was I disguising myself as?
They never listened for the answer.
But even as they had trained themselves
to not listen they needed some reply.
So I made myself funny but forgettable,
the better to help them laugh
and then repeat the question.

What I should have realized
at the time was that they were
preparing me for all the interviews
for jobs that I was never going to get
but I was still duty bound to apply for
-where the employer would observe me
for everything except what I said I was.