Confession Of A Former Book Reader

I first enjoyed the mysteries of reading books
aged thirteen, when I first joined a public library.
My membership had to be counter-signed
by a staff member in the discouraging care home
my parents assigned me to live in for five years.

High on their list of things to be discouraged
was being reflective, and enjoying reading.

I will save you the horrors of being made to play sport
whilst being so inept and uncoordinated. Sport was torture.

My adult reading started, aged seventeen when I first read '1984',
when I was way too young to understand it, and peaked
when I read 'Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'
five times over ten years, the structure of which I still marvel at.
Even two years ago I would read up to thirty books a year,
and hard books at that, memoirs of surviving Auschwitz.

But with fewer friends, and more time spent in my own
or online I have tired since the days of 'Always having a book,
if not several, to read', I still read. But now I no longer write
reviews of the books to express my enjoyment of them.

Over thirty years ago reading was a thrill.
I did not know what new literary joy
I might find in the next book. Now I don't know
what will engage with me, and refresh
my attention span. It could well be silence.

I Admire Subversive Literature

Particularly books that through flannel and charm
make points that puncture taboos, similar to the way
that 'Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance'
took on mental health issues among teachers-
including a teacher having a nervous breakdown-
where as Robert M. Pirsig (1928-2017) wrote around
a teacher having a breakdown he was lucid, humane,
gentle and perceptive when no other author
could approach the subject with the same finesse.

Even more he wrote about the recovery of the self
from a breakdown in a way no other author could,
and rarely has since to such inspiring effect.
   

Choice With Books

has always been a complex and personal matter.
Thankfully, books are not like possessive children, 
they never  argue back when we put them down
in favour of other characterful material. 

 

A Conversation I Often Have With Myself

And with the cheapness of books,
and their richness compared with other media,
the central point of view is the perspective
I always return to...

 

Signs Of Greater Age (53)

Wanting to paraphrase Mae West,
whilst looking at what is on your shelves. 

'It is not the books in my home,
it is the lives in my books....   '.

Because with age and time
the draw of human company thins,
For all their limits books never refuse you.

Books remain consistent and kind,
to whoever is attentive and generous to them...

Signs Of Greater Age (50)

1-You still like books as you get older,
but as you age you can't get your head
around how young people call reading
'Biblio-Therapy' as if there was no history
of reading or writing for instruction,
and they have just discovered
how valuable reading books is.

2-Falling asleep when you read,
and not quite getting the hang
of repurposing the process
so as to make reading a mechanism
for choosing when you sleep.  

Book Disease

Is nothing to be ashamed of,
though people will resemble
their reading habits, so it is better
to choose your books by the people
you would like to be liked by.