I once had a friend who helped me
get through the absurdities of life
and as long as they was something,
even something absurd, that we shared
then we had enough life in common.
At some point our absurdities changed.
I saw my life in a different way to how
I had seen it before, darker absurdities.
As I changed so the everyday exchanges
between me and my friend got more 'stuck'
until he asked me to leave. I agreed,
I refused to pass on the loss I accepted.
Now we are apart, I am more alone
than I ever thought I would be,
and we still exchange messages
that uphold the distance between us,
that reinforce a refreshed absurdity.
The world is bent out shape
and I am newly bent with it
because age has changed me.
Denying change, due to age,
is not an option.
Accepting being honestly set apart
by how mistakenly I was made
is my only way to be myself today,
the only way left to face tomorrow,
and the only way to face the hereafter.
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