It is strange, even estranging,
to find that you know yourself better
through the recollection
of how you once were
with now absent friends
than you knew yourself
when those friends were there.
It is easier to ask in isolation
'who is this stranger I am now'
than it was to accept feeling odd
when friends wanted you to hide
the parts of yourself that took you
away from what they wanted to do
to prepare for the next party.
Be consoled. There are no parties now.
Unless parties are for one
and people have them alone
in which case go, get started.
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