Unfit For Competition

I would have been happy to have enjoyed sport
in school if only it meant mentoring,
where I competed against my previous selves,
and the teacher was there to help me 'move on'
to be confident, fit, and strong,
without ever making me into a bully.

Such fitness training would have esteemed me well.

But no such personal teaching existed.
Sport was a one-size-fits-all activity
about 'fitting into the community'.
As if whatever shape each of us was
we were all pegs to be hammered
into too few holes for our number,
Thus to be defined that way forever
as we accounted for ourselves.

Sport was run by teachers
to find out who fitted first and best,
the better to help the school forget the rest.

That I never fitted in at all
should not have surprised me.

That I should have such a full life
outside of all competitiveness
is always a positive surprise.

Never winning competitions
until it was unnatural for me
to be entered in for them
made me the person I am.