to slip into tele-sales cold calls to make them brief and polite.
1)The Queen is arriving to visit me later today by appointment
and my house is not ready to recieve her, shall I send her your regards?
2)The dog is just having puppies and I am feeling somewhat tender
from watching such a wonderful sight. We are a grandmother
with all this happening, I wish you were here to see it.
3)I am sorry, I thought you were the clinic ringing me up
to confirm my appointment for a colonic irrigation.
4)The house next door but one to this is now on fire and the family
there need some help. Have you any first aid tips?
5)I'd like to listen to you but I have a funeral to go to, in a few
minutes a car is collecting me.
6)You tell me your post code and home address, so I can look
it up on Google earth right now and then I will tell you mine.
7)Did you know that spending too long on the phone can give
you cancer of ear?
and finally
8) [use this phrase after giving your name and regretting it] well
actually I am an alien and I have taken over the body of the person
named, who used to live here, which why I can talk in their
langauge. I would give you my alien name but you would not
be able to pronounce it. You don't know how far beyond your
petty corporate totalitarianism I am, but if you want to look up
the name of my planet on google sky you are welcome.
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