is what teenage boys accuse adult males of
when the boys hope of adulthood
becomes the parental fear of adultery,
and youth rebels against the emptiness that formed it.
These accused un-leading men collude with women
who prefer detachment over co-dependence.
Thus inertia consistently avoids directing
its offspring. The young from gangs
to 'compensate' and 'lead themselves'.
That the majority skin colour in this errant
self leadership is not white
is a merely observing the obvious.
I was always pale, now I am bald,
and I was never gang material.
But I felt my father disconnecting from me
well before my words struggled to explain him.
I now see my absence of being lead
as my having arrived. There is nowhere further
to go and nobody else to take me there.
Wherever I go I must lead myself.
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