The Squeaky Toy Solution

With the never ending stream of cold callers
that people respond to on their telephones
the problem comes with how to  remain calm,
be civil, and retain a sense of humour.

On no account give the caller your name
and never confirm that the address
that they suggest they are calling to,
but instead get a squeaky toy
-such as you might buy for a dog.

After delaying all conformation
keep them on the line with squeezes
in squeaks of vocal sized lengths.

Let it do the rest of your talking for you.