When I was young enough to want to drink
I could not afford it I, so stayed in at home.
But every night Father spent hours at the pub.
When he returned he always full of conflict.
What I see now, but could not see then,
is how the nearer he got to his house
the flatter his pleasure in the drink became,
which explains the regularity of his belligerence;
He still wanted to be back with his mates
dragging out the dregs of the evening.
I was an adult when I began to enjoy drink
and I only drank at home; my sole motive
was to increase the pleasure of my evening meal.
My motto was 'never get drunk far from your bed'.
As a truism it works rather well; the shorter the distance
the better I know it and the more I valued the journey.
Home and bed bred self respect through familiarity.
The motto also works for when drink is consumed
in quantity, for its own sake. It accounts better
for the changes the mood of the drinking consumer;
The shorter the journey toward rest, as the effects of the drink
wear off, the easier the mood changed become to own.
The self knowledge my father never had is now mine to own.
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