Saint Augustine prayed nightly to be freed
of 'the glue of lust', or nocturnal emissions.
He did not even pray for a person
to be glued to, in affirming companionship.
His prayers were answered
by his coming to believe that since
he could not control his emissions
the way he controlled his prayers,
by intent, his ejaculations were not sin,
and his prayers were aspirations to absolute celibacy.
aspirations which were far as beyond him
as grace was beyond human virtue.
As an everyday wanker I would say
to my maker of the nightly emanations
that haunt my imagination
'Thank you for them being where they are,
in my head, and for the grace of what I see
not being real, nor in front of me wanting
breakfast in the morning. Amen'.
I admit I feel uneasy about cohabiting.
The nightly emanations I trust the most
are from the BBC, World Service Radio
telling me things that I did not know,
that when I wake up I won't remember.
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